Empty help
Grocery · Inside the Empty PC
Trader No’s.
New this week: Everything Bagel Nothing.
Trader No’s is a grocery parody in Empty’s American shopping world. Its departments include Snacks, Frozen, Pantry, Coffee & tea. Browse a few of the actual game listings below before opening the store; the shopping, payment and delivery are all fictional.
Open Trader No’s in EmptyFree to play in your browser. JavaScript is needed for the PC; this guide works without it.
From the in-game storefront
Our tasting panel tried it on toast, on eggs and on itself. It tasted like the idea of a bagel, which is the best part. The seasonal item you panic-bought eight of last October has returned. It is gone again by the time you read this.
The shop’s own retail character
Ring the bell twice for a crew member in a Hawaiian shirt. Three times for nothing. The store calls its basket a cart; its department names and advertised perks below come from the same storefront you can open inside the PC.
A look at the game catalogue
These are items you can inspect in Trader No’s inside Empty. Every purchase uses imaginary money.
Choose a department
Snacks
Fearlessly flavoured. Faintly imaginary. 368 items in the game catalogue.
Frozen
32 items in the game catalogue.
Pantry
406 items in the game catalogue.
Coffee & tea
160 items in the game catalogue.
Flowers
2,343 items in the game catalogue.
All groceries
950 items in the game catalogue.
Pets
174 items in the game catalogue.
The shop’s advertised pretend perks
- No loyalty card
- Low prices for everyone. On nothing.
- Taste test
- Free samples at the demo station, cups empty
- Return anything
- Didn’t love it? Bring back the nothing
Try a specific stop
These shortcuts open the actual department or page inside Empty, so you can try the parts described above.
Before you switch on
Trader No’s is an original parody, not affiliated with or endorsed by Trader Joe’s. The game uses imaginary money and fictional checkout details. No real purchase is made.
Your progress stays in this browser on this device. Read the playing guide or check privacy and contact details.