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Department store · Inside the Empty PC

John Lewless.
Get your tissues ready.

John Lewless is a department store parody in Empty’s British shopping world. Its departments include Home & garden, Electricals, Women, Men. Browse a few of the actual game listings below before opening the store; the shopping, payment and delivery are all fictional.

Open John Lewless in Empty

Free to play in your browser. JavaScript is needed for the PC; this guide works without it.

From the in-game storefront

This year’s advert follows a lonely box who just wants to be filled. It isn’t. Release date: whenever you need a cry. Every TV, laptop and kettle comes with a free two-year guarantee that it will not break, because it will not arrive.

The shop’s own retail character

Never knowingly sold. Our price promise, now in its 100th year of being technically accurate. The store calls its basket a basket; its department names and advertised perks below come from the same storefront you can open inside the PC.

A look at the game catalogue

These are items you can inspect in John Lewless inside Empty. Every purchase uses imaginary money.

Choose a department

The shop’s advertised pretend perks

Never knowingly sold
If you find it cheaper elsewhere, we’d love to know where
Free Click & Collect
On orders over $30, from a Partner who is also imaginary
2-year guarantee
On electricals, including the absence of them

Try a specific stop

These shortcuts open the actual department or page inside Empty, so you can try the parts described above.

Before you switch on

John Lewless is an original parody, not affiliated with or endorsed by John Lewis. The game uses imaginary money and fictional checkout details. No real purchase is made.

Your progress stays in this browser on this device. Read the playing guide or check privacy and contact details.

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